in exactly 5 days, i will be participating in a wedding celebration that is straight out of the twilight zone. this is not an exaggeration. it is the absolute truth. here are the facts:
*the groom is the bf's father.
*the bride has three grown children.
*the groom has two children, including the bf.
*the bride has one grandchild, born of her lesbian daughter's "wife".
*the groom has two grandchildren, the bf's two sons.
*the wedding is quite large for a second wedding, with approximately 150 guests.
i have only been dating the bf for a smidge over a year. i do not know the bride or the groom all that well, really. we've had a few birthday dinners together, been to their home for a couple of holiday dinners, seen them at the boys' t-ball games a time or two.
now, for some of the very odd facts:
*the bride and groom rented a $137 tux for my three year old son to hand out programs.
*the bride requested that i purchase my five year old daughter a black and/or white dress, she will also be handing out programs.
*the bride requested that i purchase myself a black dress. this attire was requested so that i will fit into the black & white theme of their wedding and will match the rest of the party when "family" pictures are taken. (family? i'm not family, am i?)
*i can pretty much guarantee that the ex-wife and her boyfriend will be included in the family pictures. (i am not making this up, either)
*the bride and groom asked if i would take candid photos in addition to the professional photographer they have hired.
*last week, the bride asked me if i would be her personal attendant.
(yes, i am to be the personal attendant, a photographer, and also need to watch over my three and five year olds as they hand out programs.)
and now for the biggest kicker:
*the bf's ex-wife and her boyfriend are the host and hostess of the wedding. (no, i am not making this up.)
to say that i am dreading this affair is a major understatement. i have been trying to come up with some sort of near-fatal illness that will render me unable to fulfill my duties. lucky for me i did find a hot dress to wear in the event that i am unable to fabricate an excuse for my absense:
Dress: Ann Taylor, $98
Shoes: TBD, $59?
Hair: $75
Nails: $49
Attending your possible future father-in-law's wedding along with your bf's ex wife: Priceless.
3 comments:
Looking hot is the way to go. I'm sure you can handle it - and it'll make for great blog posts later.
From what I've seen, you could go to the wedding dressed in a potato sack and still look 80 times hotter than the bf's ex.
Um... What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger?
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