we are family

my mom called me a little while ago with some bad news about my little sister, A. apparently she had a miscarriage last night. none of us even knew that she was preganant, but that isn't surprising. while pregnant with her third child she kept it a secret for three months! my sister is only 25, she is five years younger than me. she was married at 18 and was pregnant within a year. this would have been her fourth child!

i feel very bad for her and would like to be there to support her, but here is my problem: she never called me. she lives a few blocks from me, but she called my sister who is two hours away and had her come over last night. the three of us have always been fairly close, although i am definitely the "black sheep" of the family. i ran away at age 15, i have lived with boyfriends, i was pregnant before i got married, i eloped to vegas, i got divorced. i have always felt the weight of their disapproval, although it has never been expressed out loud by any of them.

i am very hurt that she didn't call me. if i were in the same situation i would have called both of my sisters. now i'm not so sure. i talked to A twice yesterday and she didn't say a thing about it.

of course i won't mention that i am upset, that would just be selfish. but i am definitely taking a step back and re-evaluating my relationship with my sisters. maybe i am just not as important in their lives as they are in mine?