saturday night we were invited to dinner at the home of the bf's dad and step-mom. the plan was to celebrate easter, a birthday and a recent graduate. we marked it on the calendar and planned to attend with all four of the kids.
saturday morning we got a call from the bf's dad. the bf let it go to voice mail. upon checking his voice mail, the bf groaned and replayed it over for me to hear. it went something like this:
"i am just calling to let you know that "the graduate" (the bf's step-sister) is dating a "black gentleman" and is planning to bring him and his young daughter for dinner this evening. i just thought i'd give you a head's up so you can tell the kids about it. i don't want them to be shocked when they walk in the house."
wtf???????
besides this being a totally sad, white bread, minnesota response, it is also extremely ironic considering this fact: THE BF IS FREAKING ASIAN! (adopted from korea by his white bread parents.)
needless to say, the bf and i didn't say anything to the kids. and were they shocked when they walked in? nope. and it made me very proud.
Showing posts with label sad but true. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sad but true. Show all posts
3.25.2008
10.04.2007
sucker!!!!
i spent a weekend at my mom's two weeks ago. my kiddos and i went there to take a break and be pampered. it was refreshing, and it worked.
at home i very, very rarely watch tv. i just have no desire to do it. but that weekend at my mom's i spent an awful lot of time in front of the good old boob tube. one night i sat up in the living room alone till at least 1:30 am. i changed channels a few times and settled on an interesting looking infomercial. i know, i know, that's kind of an oxymoron. infomercial and interesting don't generally go hand it hand. but i started watching this one and was hooked.
it was for some kind of magic makeup! oooo...look at that girl with the horrible complexion! oh wow, look how easy it is to transform her face from cruddy complexion to model perfect! that's amazing! and look at the stars endorsing it. it must be good stuff, right? i was suckered in. it looked soooooo easy! and i'd love an easy way to hide those red rosacea areas on my cheeks. and these dark circles under my eyes from stress. i would love to get rid of those. seriously, that looks easy. i can DO that. and look, they even did makeovers at my beloved mall of america. and minnesotan's don't lie, right? and the best part? it could all be mine for the low, low price of just $29.95!!!
so today i got my cute little pink box and felt that flutter of excitement i always feel when i get a package in the mail. i couldn't wait to rip into the package. i opened the pretty little box and saw it's pretty little pink insides. and there was the makeup. tiny little containers beautifully presented in a white mesh bag. and then i saw the two instruction booklets and the instructional dvd. wtf? i thought this was supposed to be eeeeeeasssy. still convinced i could make this work, i trudged into the bathroom to begin my own amazing transformation. i wish i could get this across to you in pictures. the result was less than flattering. my wrinkles stand out more than ever. in fact, i found some i hadn't even noticed before. the makeup is totally cakey, the kind i snicker about when i see it on others. (did she put that on with a putty knife, or what?) and my dark undereye circles? i swear they look worse. now they are both dark AND baggy. i look like a haggard streetwalker.
so the moral of the story is...there is a reason we really shouldn't buy things from infomercials. and dummies like me are proof. ; )
at home i very, very rarely watch tv. i just have no desire to do it. but that weekend at my mom's i spent an awful lot of time in front of the good old boob tube. one night i sat up in the living room alone till at least 1:30 am. i changed channels a few times and settled on an interesting looking infomercial. i know, i know, that's kind of an oxymoron. infomercial and interesting don't generally go hand it hand. but i started watching this one and was hooked.
it was for some kind of magic makeup! oooo...look at that girl with the horrible complexion! oh wow, look how easy it is to transform her face from cruddy complexion to model perfect! that's amazing! and look at the stars endorsing it. it must be good stuff, right? i was suckered in. it looked soooooo easy! and i'd love an easy way to hide those red rosacea areas on my cheeks. and these dark circles under my eyes from stress. i would love to get rid of those. seriously, that looks easy. i can DO that. and look, they even did makeovers at my beloved mall of america. and minnesotan's don't lie, right? and the best part? it could all be mine for the low, low price of just $29.95!!!
so today i got my cute little pink box and felt that flutter of excitement i always feel when i get a package in the mail. i couldn't wait to rip into the package. i opened the pretty little box and saw it's pretty little pink insides. and there was the makeup. tiny little containers beautifully presented in a white mesh bag. and then i saw the two instruction booklets and the instructional dvd. wtf? i thought this was supposed to be eeeeeeasssy. still convinced i could make this work, i trudged into the bathroom to begin my own amazing transformation. i wish i could get this across to you in pictures. the result was less than flattering. my wrinkles stand out more than ever. in fact, i found some i hadn't even noticed before. the makeup is totally cakey, the kind i snicker about when i see it on others. (did she put that on with a putty knife, or what?) and my dark undereye circles? i swear they look worse. now they are both dark AND baggy. i look like a haggard streetwalker.
so the moral of the story is...there is a reason we really shouldn't buy things from infomercials. and dummies like me are proof. ; )
5.09.2007
i think i'm alone now...
tonight i am essentially home alone. the kids are asleep. the bf is away at a twins baseball game two hours away. he won't be home for a few hours yet. me? i am in heaven! it has been a long time since i have been without the bf past 8:00. he hasn't been doing as much freelancing lately. and he is home. every. stinking. night. granted, when we first started dating, i whined and pissed and moaned about him being gone so much and home so late every night. now? well, it's nice that he's home more, but...i am very much enjoying some "me" time tonight.
i purchased a six back of beer tonight. getting drunk, you ask? oh no. here is a true sign of aging: i bought the beer specifically to make beer bread. in fact, i tried to drink a bottle. i had one swig. it was all i could handle. determined to ingest some sort of alcohol, i settled on a bacardi silver strawberry that has been in the fridge for months. and hey, one of those on an empty stomach? well, it's just enough to make me feel warm and fuzzy. give me another and i'll probably pass out on the kitchen floor.
i am going to milk this night for all it's worth. i am going to eat crackers in bed. and drink my bacardi. and crank my music. and read some trashy tabloid websites. maybe i'll even turn on the t.v. because hey, i'm wild and crazy like that.
i purchased a six back of beer tonight. getting drunk, you ask? oh no. here is a true sign of aging: i bought the beer specifically to make beer bread. in fact, i tried to drink a bottle. i had one swig. it was all i could handle. determined to ingest some sort of alcohol, i settled on a bacardi silver strawberry that has been in the fridge for months. and hey, one of those on an empty stomach? well, it's just enough to make me feel warm and fuzzy. give me another and i'll probably pass out on the kitchen floor.
i am going to milk this night for all it's worth. i am going to eat crackers in bed. and drink my bacardi. and crank my music. and read some trashy tabloid websites. maybe i'll even turn on the t.v. because hey, i'm wild and crazy like that.
4.02.2007
twins?
previous post due to the fact that BBMG and i have decided that we look like twin crackwhores today. we both look and feel exhausted...under eye circles, pale faces, melting makeup and even sort of matching outfits. we'd post a pic but you would probably never read our blogs again. seriously, it's that bad. yikes.
3.29.2007
benedryl hangover
a few years ago during a particularily depressing time in my life, i was in desperate need of sleep. i saw a shrink who prescribed a number of prescription sleep remedies, none of which did the trick. said shrink then introduced me to the wonders of a little over the counter miracle called benedryl.
the benedryl did what no other drug before it had managed...it granted me sleep. the kind of sleep where you wake up in a puddle of drool, unsure of exactly who you are or what planet you hail from. it was bliss. eventually antidepressents resolved the depression as well as the sleep issue and i no longer needed my friend benedryl to help me into blissful slumber.
years later, a pediatrician clued me in on the useful application of benedryl in getting children to sleep. of course this was only to be used in extreme measures, such as long car trips, or overnight stays in strange places. i would never use it on a night where i just wanted the little buggers to settle down and give me some peace and quiet to keep me from going insane for f sakes! whew.
lately i have been having sleep issues again. tossing and turning throughout the night, waking up and not being able to get back to sleep. so, the night before last, i took two benedryl before bed. yes, two. i didn't want to mess around with just one pill. oh no. i wanted to make sure it WORKED.
i slept like a rock that first night. slept through the entire night. i woke up to my alarm yesterday completely foggy and groggy and my head felt like it weighed a ton. my limbs felt like they were moving in slow motion. actually, i suppose they were. i finally dragged myself out of bed and tried to get on with my day.
at work yesterday, i felt like a zombie. my mouth was like a cotton ball. my eyes were on fire. my head weighed a ton and was pounding incessantly. i was moving very slowly. i broke my new rule and had a cup of bf prescribed mt. dew. no help. it finally dawned on me late morning...i felt like i was hung-over. then, omg! it's the benedryl! i ended up taking yesterday afternoon off. i took a good two hour nap. woke up in a puddle of drool and still pretty groggy.
last night i didn't sleep well again. today i feel the same as i did yesterday.
note to self: just say no to benedryl over doses.
the benedryl did what no other drug before it had managed...it granted me sleep. the kind of sleep where you wake up in a puddle of drool, unsure of exactly who you are or what planet you hail from. it was bliss. eventually antidepressents resolved the depression as well as the sleep issue and i no longer needed my friend benedryl to help me into blissful slumber.
years later, a pediatrician clued me in on the useful application of benedryl in getting children to sleep. of course this was only to be used in extreme measures, such as long car trips, or overnight stays in strange places. i would never use it on a night where i just wanted the little buggers to settle down and give me some peace and quiet to keep me from going insane for f sakes! whew.
lately i have been having sleep issues again. tossing and turning throughout the night, waking up and not being able to get back to sleep. so, the night before last, i took two benedryl before bed. yes, two. i didn't want to mess around with just one pill. oh no. i wanted to make sure it WORKED.
i slept like a rock that first night. slept through the entire night. i woke up to my alarm yesterday completely foggy and groggy and my head felt like it weighed a ton. my limbs felt like they were moving in slow motion. actually, i suppose they were. i finally dragged myself out of bed and tried to get on with my day.
at work yesterday, i felt like a zombie. my mouth was like a cotton ball. my eyes were on fire. my head weighed a ton and was pounding incessantly. i was moving very slowly. i broke my new rule and had a cup of bf prescribed mt. dew. no help. it finally dawned on me late morning...i felt like i was hung-over. then, omg! it's the benedryl! i ended up taking yesterday afternoon off. i took a good two hour nap. woke up in a puddle of drool and still pretty groggy.
last night i didn't sleep well again. today i feel the same as i did yesterday.
note to self: just say no to benedryl over doses.
3.26.2007
waterlogged
wa·ter·logged [waw-ter-lawgd, -logd, wot-er-]
–adjective
1. so filled or flooded with water as to be heavy or unmanageable, as a ship.
2. excessively saturated with or as if with water: waterlogged ground; waterlogged with fatigue.
3. a.k.a. Domestically Disabled Girl.
along with my rejuvenated exercise plan and goal to lose 10 pounds, i am trying to drink more water. this morning, i successfully mananged to ingest five cups of the complimentary ice water company t so kindly provides us with. and i swear to you, i have um...released twice as much. wtf? how can i get anything done here when i am running to the bathroom every five minutes!
wait...i get it now! they (the evil they) recommend the water because it forces me to get my arse up and moving as i go back and forth from the restroom countless times.
those sneaky bastards.
–adjective
1. so filled or flooded with water as to be heavy or unmanageable, as a ship.
2. excessively saturated with or as if with water: waterlogged ground; waterlogged with fatigue.
3. a.k.a. Domestically Disabled Girl.
along with my rejuvenated exercise plan and goal to lose 10 pounds, i am trying to drink more water. this morning, i successfully mananged to ingest five cups of the complimentary ice water company t so kindly provides us with. and i swear to you, i have um...released twice as much. wtf? how can i get anything done here when i am running to the bathroom every five minutes!
wait...i get it now! they (the evil they) recommend the water because it forces me to get my arse up and moving as i go back and forth from the restroom countless times.
those sneaky bastards.
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