i finally got up the nerve to just CALL e tonight and see how things are going. i have issues with thinking i am bothering people, so i don't call, and then instead end up with the opposite effect of having them think i don't care about or am not thinking about them. which is definitely not the case. i'm such a freak sometimes! part of what i love about e is that she loves me anyway, freak-ness and all. and now i know that i need to call, and do it more often. and i will!
anyway, here's the important stuff: baby abram is supposed to get out of the hospital tomorrow. yay! he's not totally out of the woods yet and will still be on a feeding tube and numerous medications, but he'll be home! they found out that his problems were caused by a virus, which is actually a good thing. with proper care he will recover and probably not have any lingering effects from his illness. he is still a very sick baby but there is a light at the end of the tunnel. i am so happy for them, and so relieved!
thanks to all of you who sent good wishes and prayers their way!!!!
Showing posts with label friends. Show all posts
Showing posts with label friends. Show all posts
7.25.2007
7.18.2007
baby abram
i got an unexpected, heartbreaking phone call this morning from my best friend in kansas city. i knew something was wrong as soon as i answered the phone. her voice sounded strained and exhausted. more strained and exhausted than even a new mommy should be feeling.
my initial instinct was right. somthing serious was going on. she was calling to tell me that her sweet little baby boy (about three months old) has been admitted to the hospital. they discovered that he has a serious heart condition. at this point the doctors are unsure of how he got sick. is it something genetic or viral? she mentioned that her sweet little baby may need a heart transplant, and that his chance of recovery is 30%. my heart broke when she said she was glad i was able to meet him, just in case...
i managed to remain fairly strong on the phone, but i was a mess when i hung up. i called the bf to tell him and i broke down. i can only imagine what she and her husband must be going though. i hate being this far away from her. i wish i could be there for her. i wish i could take away her pain. i wish i could tell her that everything is going to be alright. i wish i could fix that darling little boy and send him off for a normal, healthy life. my heart literally aches for them. they are experiencing every parent's worst nightmare.
i am scared. my heart is breaking. i feel helpless when i want so badly to be able to help. i don't know what to do. i want to be the best possible friend to her. i want to give her anything she needs. i want to make her baby well again. i want her to have her happy little family.
to be a mom is to walk around raw for the rest of your life. to be constantly aware of the dangers your child encounters on a regular basis, and of your powerlessness to protect them from most of it. we take it for granted when our children are healthy. we get mad at them for stupid things. we don't appreciate them. we wish they would hurry up and grow up already! we wish they would leave us the hell alone while we try and write on our blog!
life is short. sometimes it is way more short than we could have ever imagined.
i love you erin. i am praying harder than i have ever prayed before in my life. i am a million miles away but i am with you.
please God, PLEASE heal baby Abram.
my initial instinct was right. somthing serious was going on. she was calling to tell me that her sweet little baby boy (about three months old) has been admitted to the hospital. they discovered that he has a serious heart condition. at this point the doctors are unsure of how he got sick. is it something genetic or viral? she mentioned that her sweet little baby may need a heart transplant, and that his chance of recovery is 30%. my heart broke when she said she was glad i was able to meet him, just in case...
i managed to remain fairly strong on the phone, but i was a mess when i hung up. i called the bf to tell him and i broke down. i can only imagine what she and her husband must be going though. i hate being this far away from her. i wish i could be there for her. i wish i could take away her pain. i wish i could tell her that everything is going to be alright. i wish i could fix that darling little boy and send him off for a normal, healthy life. my heart literally aches for them. they are experiencing every parent's worst nightmare.
i am scared. my heart is breaking. i feel helpless when i want so badly to be able to help. i don't know what to do. i want to be the best possible friend to her. i want to give her anything she needs. i want to make her baby well again. i want her to have her happy little family.
to be a mom is to walk around raw for the rest of your life. to be constantly aware of the dangers your child encounters on a regular basis, and of your powerlessness to protect them from most of it. we take it for granted when our children are healthy. we get mad at them for stupid things. we don't appreciate them. we wish they would hurry up and grow up already! we wish they would leave us the hell alone while we try and write on our blog!
life is short. sometimes it is way more short than we could have ever imagined.
i love you erin. i am praying harder than i have ever prayed before in my life. i am a million miles away but i am with you.
please God, PLEASE heal baby Abram.
6.25.2007
news from the south
my trip to kc this weekend was awesome, but way too short. seems like just when we start to really warm up it's time for me to leave. it sucks.
it took me seven hours to get down there. i listened to the three cd's i burned and the four the bf burned. i got through ALL of them on the way down! it was sweet of the bf to take the time to choose all the music and take the time to burn cd's for me. he put on a bunch of "new" music, plus a few of the classics. i grooved all the way there.
i really enjoyed the first six hours of the drive, but it began to wear thin during the last hour...all of which was spent manuvering the city and trying to get to e's house. it sucked to know that mile-wise, i was so close, but because of the traffic it took forever! the drive back was only six hours! a whole hour of my day burned in traffic. i guess there really are some good things about living in a smaller city!
it was wonderful to see e and meet her adorable baby boy. where in the past our laughs were based on our own silliness and/or level of intoxication, this time it was everything baby. his facial expressions were hilarious, and we tortured the poor darling with a super cute little bucket hat i brought for him. it was really cool seeing what a wonderful mother e is and neat to watch her and the baby interact.
leaving was very bittersweet. i was so happy that we were able to reconnect again, but so sad knowing that i probably won't get to see her again for at least another six months. being there really reminded me of how much i still have that hole in my life, with my best friend and i living so far apart. i have other friends of course. really good friends. and i have my sisters. thank god for them all! but sometimes i just want to be able to call up e to meet up for a drink after work. or to go out for lunch. or go shopping. or have a playdate. anything.
i miss her so much.
it took me seven hours to get down there. i listened to the three cd's i burned and the four the bf burned. i got through ALL of them on the way down! it was sweet of the bf to take the time to choose all the music and take the time to burn cd's for me. he put on a bunch of "new" music, plus a few of the classics. i grooved all the way there.
i really enjoyed the first six hours of the drive, but it began to wear thin during the last hour...all of which was spent manuvering the city and trying to get to e's house. it sucked to know that mile-wise, i was so close, but because of the traffic it took forever! the drive back was only six hours! a whole hour of my day burned in traffic. i guess there really are some good things about living in a smaller city!
it was wonderful to see e and meet her adorable baby boy. where in the past our laughs were based on our own silliness and/or level of intoxication, this time it was everything baby. his facial expressions were hilarious, and we tortured the poor darling with a super cute little bucket hat i brought for him. it was really cool seeing what a wonderful mother e is and neat to watch her and the baby interact.
leaving was very bittersweet. i was so happy that we were able to reconnect again, but so sad knowing that i probably won't get to see her again for at least another six months. being there really reminded me of how much i still have that hole in my life, with my best friend and i living so far apart. i have other friends of course. really good friends. and i have my sisters. thank god for them all! but sometimes i just want to be able to call up e to meet up for a drink after work. or to go out for lunch. or go shopping. or have a playdate. anything.
i miss her so much.
6.21.2007
on the road again
tomorrow i'm hitting the road to see my best friend e in kansas city. i took off work for tomorrow and rented a car. i'll be on the road at about 8:30 in the morning, beginning the 7ish hour drive. another alone trip! i'm really excitecd to see her, and her new baby, and to just have hours upon hours alone in the car, singing at the top of my lungs to whatever the hell i feel like listening to.
i haven't seen e in six months. i miss her like crazy. we met in college and bonded over cigarette breaks in between our social work classes. we quickly became very close. i have never had a friend like her in my entire life, and don't expect i ever will again. it's hard to explain really, but when she moved out of state i was breaking up with a boyfriend at the same time. and i cried WAY more over her leaving than i did over breaking up with my five year, high school sweetheart.
any long-distance relationship is hard to maintain, and we try our best to stay connected. the phone calls and emails become less and less, and i know we aren't as close as we once were. but when we get together it's like we were never apart. i can talk to her about ANYTHING. whenever i need real, honest advice, she is the one i turn to. she will tell it like it is, whether i want to hear it or not. and my God, do we laugh. and laugh and laugh and laugh.
even though we don't talk as much anymore, she is still important to me. i still love her like a sister. and she is still my best friend. i can't wait to see her again, and meet her precious baby.
i haven't seen e in six months. i miss her like crazy. we met in college and bonded over cigarette breaks in between our social work classes. we quickly became very close. i have never had a friend like her in my entire life, and don't expect i ever will again. it's hard to explain really, but when she moved out of state i was breaking up with a boyfriend at the same time. and i cried WAY more over her leaving than i did over breaking up with my five year, high school sweetheart.
any long-distance relationship is hard to maintain, and we try our best to stay connected. the phone calls and emails become less and less, and i know we aren't as close as we once were. but when we get together it's like we were never apart. i can talk to her about ANYTHING. whenever i need real, honest advice, she is the one i turn to. she will tell it like it is, whether i want to hear it or not. and my God, do we laugh. and laugh and laugh and laugh.
even though we don't talk as much anymore, she is still important to me. i still love her like a sister. and she is still my best friend. i can't wait to see her again, and meet her precious baby.
3.16.2007
happy early birthday a!
happy birthday to my fave co-worker, a! i hope i am able to come out and party it up with you tonight!
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