narcoleptic?

i just ditched a meeting a few minutes early. even though my bosses were there. because i couldn't stay awake. not because i didn't get enough sleep last night. i got my usual 6-7 hours or so. oh no, it's because the leader of the meeting bored me to tears. at least i think that's what it is. or maybe i'm narcoleptic?

"The main characteristic of narcolepsy is overwhelming excessive daytime sleepiness (EDS), even after adequate night time sleep. A person with narcolepsy is likely to become drowsy or to fall asleep, often at inappropriate times and places. Daytime naps may occur with or without warning and may be physically irresistible. These naps can occur several times a day."

i do seem to have this problem during certain meetings. and it's always the worst early in the week, and almost always in the afternoon. my eyes start to burn, my head gets heavy and i feel myself nodding off. kind of like i am now, maybe i'll just crawl under my desk for a few minutes ....zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

random thoughts from the desk of a disgruntled marketing employee

* to biff: buy some of your own damn lotion! i am sick of you coming over to my desk asking to use my lotion because your hands are sooooo dry. i don't care about your hands. they can dry and flake and crack until they fall off for all i care. really. i don't like you. i'm serious.

*to bubbles: if you don't stop your fake giggling, i'm going to club you over the head with my ruler. or maybe i'll just whip my stapler over my cubicle wall and listen to the satisfying cluck it's sure to make when it connects with your melon. i think that might make me feel better. in fact, i'm pretty sure it would.

* to stinky: when you use the bathroom to relieve your, um, digestive system, please be courteous and make it quick. i do not appreciate being assaulted with the odor of your rotting bowels while i make one of my multiple trips to potty. and for God sakes, use the damn deodorizing room spray. better yet, go use the bathroom down in the basement. there are only like, three people working on that floor. better to disrupt three than thirty. especially when yours truly is part of the thirty.

* to management: i have a life outside of work. really, i do. please refrain from giving me projects with a 1-2 day deadline. i don't appreciate working until 12:30 a.m. even if i am at home in bed with the laptop and a beer. i cannot guarantee the quality of work that is done in this manner.

* to ms. brown-noser: maybe you should make your ass-kissing a little more obvious. cuz that email you sent out about how we should get our department together and volunteer as a group to work for FREE for our "sister" company and oh won't it be so much fun tra la la wasn't plain enough. i don't think the manager got it.

* to mr. company president: if you are going to hold an "open forum" all employee meeting, be prepared for people to actually speak their minds and (horror of horrors) ask you unplanned questions. don't reprimand people after the meeting just because they put you on the spot or made you uncomfortable. the truth hurts. if you didn't want an open forum, don't ask for it. go ahead and live in your la la land. maybe you should hook up with bubbles.

work

this place is literally sucking the life out of me.